The Peace House

 Resistance and Redirection: 2015 to 2020

A Sequel by John T. Schwiebert 

 TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction

1. Changing Demographics

2. Writing Projects

3. Repurposing Sunnyside

4.  Remaining At Odds

5. Making Do

6. Supporting Immigrants

7. Rethinking Re-Animation   

Postscript 

 INTRODUCTION

Five years have passed since the most recent events described in my memoir entitled Resistance and Redirection: Our First Forty Years (still available at booksellers on line).  Off and on during these past 5 years I have toyed with the idea of writing a sequel to that first book to share my reflections about the wonderful events, important changes, and also some troubling experiences that Pat and I have shared over these past 60-plus months.

The impulse to write about these things suddenly seemed more urgent in early 2020 as the uncertainties of the COVID19 pandemic loomed large. Suddenly I was confronting the realization that, given my age and presumed vulnerability to infection, if I had anything more to say in print I might not have much more time to say it.

Pat and I had penciled in the dates of March 12-15, 2020 as days we would enjoy a brief anniversary get-away and rest from our Peace House responsibilities. While we were away the seriousness of the pandemic was quickly becoming obvious.  

On March 14 we enjoyed our last restaurant supper for perhaps a very long time. We awoke on March 15 the day of our 45thwedding anniversary looking forward to the hotel’s daily complimentary hot breakfast that we had enjoyed on the two previous mornings.  But when we arrived at the breakfast room we found a “closed” sign on the locked door and a note directing us to pick up a “grab and go” brown bag snack at the front desk.

We arrived back at the Peace House at noon that day to join our housemates in a quarantine that they had already set up.  We cancelled all scheduled Peace House events and announced that for the indefinite future we would not be inviting strangers or even relatives and close friends to join us in person for activities at the Peace House. Also, necessary larger meetings and gatherings of Metanoia Peace Community henceforth would be conducted by conference telephone call or on the internet using the Zoom feature that connects remote personal computers.

But the heart of the Metanoia church, the Peace House family, was already well equipped for the “shelter in place” directive that the general public was quickly having to get accustomed to.  And while other churches were straining to figure out how to stay connected and to conduct their church life in the new age of social distancing most of our principal leaders were already in touch with each other physically “day by day,” like the churches described in the Book of Acts.

Well yes, our daily in-house church gatherings—for Morning Prayer—technically exceeded by three (and sometime four) the prescribed limit of 10 persons.  And attempts to maintain social distance would have been impossible and probably unnecessary in an intimate family setting, of course. Germs were already counted among the “all things” we share in common and that was not likely to change.

What we could change we had fun figuring out together. We set up a hand washing station at the sink closest to the kitchen door, with a supply of rubber gloves, hand sanitizers, and moist sanitary wipes.  And instead of holding hands when we offer thanks around the supper table we now touch elbows.

Because many community gatherings that normally would call us away were also suspended and other non-essential businesses were closed indefinitely, we began to enjoy more quality time together.  Some of the adults have part time jobs or essential volunteer work that call them away occasionally but most of our collective work in the community we can manage from home.  This means that times when we can all meet, work and play together are more plentiful. 

For the time being, daily morning  prayer in the Peace House living room can  be shared only by the current residents of the Peace House—8 adults and 5 children. Besides me and Pat these include Mpagi Kirumira, Michael Ellick and Alan Hartman and their 2+-year old daughter Zuzu, Kody Barnett and Fey Wolf (who joined us shortly after the virus reshaped our way of life), and Maureen Gullet with four of her children—Melody, Olivia,  Ava and Holden.

I should explain that in addition to the quarantined persons who make up our cozy household, two other persons are on the premises with us most days: Tom Forman and Yvette Wilson, who are employed by Grief Watch, mostly working on ceramic production, but they help with other ministries and share in the work of housekeeping.   Yvette also sometimes joins us for morning prayer when her schedule permits.

If you don’t already know should also mention that our Grief Watch enterprise which had occupied space in the Peace House for more than thirty years has now been incorporated separately.  Now it operates out of new headquarters in Vancouver, Washington—except for the ceramics manufacturing unit which is still located in the Peace House basement, producing the ceramic items that are sold from the Grief Watch website.

Then there is Josh, one of our many homeless friends, who currently shelters in our tool shed with his two big dogs, and uses our basement toilet and shower which are isolated from the rest of the building

We were delighted to learn that six other Metanoia folks who ordinarily would have joined us for daily morning prayer in pre-pandemic times, had decided to share morning prayer together weekly on their own in a public park, practicing lectio divinaand requisite social distancing at the same time.

When one of that group Darrell BuBois found himself quarantined in the AIDS care facility where he lives the group gathered at his place, with Darrell sitting in his back yard on one side of the cyclone fence barrier and the others sitting on the public sidewalk outside!

Remarkably, in spite of the apocalyptic political, economic, and public health crises that swirl around us in 2K20, the Peace House really has become, for Pat and me and our housemates, a haven of shalom. We feel an abundance of blessing, joy, and eudaimonia (to use another Greek word I recently became familiar with), meaning “a contented state of being happy, healthy and prosperous.”  

Prosperity, in our case has nothing to do with private wealth because of that we have none.  Our prosperity is the spiritual and emotional richness that comes with having given ourselves totally to the experience of authentic faith community and the communal benefits that it affords.  

We still call this “living into the kin’dom of God!” 

And health?  Even if we may not be able to escape forever the personal suffering that could touch any of us or all of us because of the current COVID19 plague we know that we are safe in God’s care and blessed with the peace that the world cannot give.

Like the Apostle Paul, Pat and I are not eager to die.  But we also are not afraid of death.  And we experience great freedom in that realization.

But before my life in this world ends (and I am told that in the face of the new virus I am at “high risk” of dying sooner than later because of my advanced age), I feel led to share in writing, with all of you who may be interested, these following reflections about our most recent (but, God willing, maybe not our final!) 5 years.

CHAPTER ONE

Changing Demographics

For some time, Pat and I and our long-time housemates Bruce and Ann Huntwork had prayed that God would call some younger adults to live and serve with us and provide ongoing leadership to guide the future of the Peace House. We were praying that this would happen before we got too old to enjoy this new leadership,  And we were hoping that the Peace House would not turn into an old folks’ home by default.

Our prayers were already beginning to be answered, even before my earlier memoir appeared in print.

The change in Peace House demographics began on January 20, 2015.That was the day I arrived early to a meeting of Portland clergy whose churches were addressing the problems faced by undocumented immigrants. There I met Michael Ellick for the first time. Michael, I learned, was the new young senior Minster of Portland’s First Congregational Church, United Church of Christ. 

Because the two of us had inadvertently arrived 30 minutes before the meeting was scheduled to begin we introduced ourselves to each other and struck up a conversation.  We quickly discovered that the two of us, and our respective spouses, shared amazingly comparable views about theology, the nature of the church, neo-monasticism, living in community, and the vital connections between inner faith and public life. 

I learned, for instance, that Michael, with his wife Alana and others, had been working to start a neo-monastic community in New York City just before they decided that he would leave his pastoral position at Judson Memorial Church in Greenwich Village and accept an invitation to lead the Portland UCC congregation.  Michael was delighted to learn that a group of us in Portland were already living in a neo-monastic household of Jesus followers and had been doing so for the previous 29 years!

I also learned that Michael and Alana had first met at a national 10-day training event sponsored by the Industrial Areas Foundation.  I shared with him that both Pat and I also had both previously benefitted from this excellent basic training in broad-based community organizing.

Michael and I made plans to meet again a short time later.  I especially wanted to hear more about his 7 years as a Buddhist monk prior to his fully embracing the faith of Jesus from which he had taken leave after his conservative Baptist childhood and teen years.  I also wanted to learn more about his active involvement in Occupy Wall Street in 2012 and 2013 since Pat and I had been on the front lines of Occupy Portland at that same time. 

But on the same day Michael and I were scheduled to meet he sent me an email to say, “I hope you won’t think I’m being weird but our cat is dying and the impending loss is so heavy on our hearts right now that I probably would not be a good conversation partner.  May we reschedule our meeting for a later time?”  My reply was “Yes, of course,” adding that “grief and loss is something my wife and I know a fair amount about!”   I encouraged Michael to take the time he needed and to contact me when he was ready to resume our conversation.

Several weeks went by and I heard nothing from Michael.  Then Pat reported to me an amazing coincidence. She had joined me in bed late on a Monday evening after having just finished one of her Monday night grief support groups in the Peace House living room—a gathering for parents who had experienced the death of an unborn or newly born infant. 

Pat said, “I just got acquainted with an amazing young couple at the support group tonight. Although I scarcely know them, I have to say that they are the first couple I’ve met that I would trust to take over the leadership of the Peace House.” They had come to Pat’s perinatal grief support group on the advice of friends after they had experienced the pre-natal death of their unborn child Isadora. I later learned that the loss of their child had occurred on the same day their cat died.

When they had arrived for the meeting at the address given to them by friends they noticed that the sign above the door read 18th AVE PEACE HOUSE.  Michael, remembering our conversation and suddenly recalling what I had told him about this communal household, asked the leader of the group if she knew John Schwiebert!  “Better than anyone else does,” Pat had replied.  “I sleep with him every night!”

Pat immediately bonded with Michael and Alana and soon after that Pat and I together began to develop a deep and lasting friendship with the two of them, based on the interests and convictions that we shared in common.  They started coming regularly to the Peace House daily Morning Prayer gatherings and brought fresh insight to our scripture reflections.   Quite naturally the four of us began to talk about the possibility of their becoming residents of the Peace House when the lease on their downtown apartment was scheduled to expire later that year.

In the meantime yet another surprising relationship began to unfold. Sometime in February our United Bishop had announced his intention to appoint Erin Martin to become the new United Methodist District Superintendent for the Columbia District, based in Portland, starting July 1, 2015.  I had already met Erin who was then serving as a pastor in Eugene, Oregon and I liked what I had heard about Erin and her creative ministry with her Eugene congregation.

I sent Erin an email message congratulating her on her impending appointment and offering that if and when she and her husband traveled to Portland to prepare for their move we would be pleased to welcome them as overnight guests at the Peace House.  In her reply she said that the two of them plus their two elementary school age boys wanted to come to Portland during their school spring break to look for housing, and could we handle four guests at the Peace House instead of two, and for four days instead of a single overnight!

We agreed and Erin Martin and Charlie Collier, with Elijah, age 10 and Rowan, age 6 were our delightful guests from March 23 to March 26, while they explored Portland neighborhoods and housing options.   As they prepared to return to Eugene four days later we asked them how they were coming along in their search for housing.  In reply they asked us if there any possibility that they could live with us at the Peace House.

We said that we too would like to explore that possibility, even knowing that it could mean having a total of 13 residents and no remaining guest room space. But their move would not happen until June and who knows what else might change in the meantime as we figured out how to make this work.

In fact two of our residents at the time, Kevin and Jody O’Brien, let it be known that they were planning to move into their own apartment, probably early in June, before the Martin/Collier family would be making their home with us at the Peace House.  

In the meantime Michael and Alana agreed to occupy a guest room for more than a month so they could experience our community life even though they still had an apartment downtown on a one year lease that had not yet expired. And because we still then had two guest rooms, at Michael and Alana’s suggestion we offered it to  Chris and Christian, a young gay couple in their twenties who were new members of First Congregational Church.  That way, for a month or so they also could experience living in community—with us and with their pastor and his wife

What happened next was yet another surprise. Although we had entertained the possibility that Michael and Alana might move into the Peace House permanently after Kevin and Jody moved out, Michael and Alana, along with Chris and Christian decided to create a “Peace House Number 2.”  

In the fall of 2015, just before their downtown lease expired, they moved together into a rented bungalow in North Portland which they dubbed the Oberlin Street Peace House.  Joining the four of them were Barbara Bellus a former resident of the 18thAve Peace House, and Emily O-Gara who attended First Congregational Church and had already become a regular participant in our Peace House daily Morning Prayer gatherings. 

Erin Martin and Charlie Collier, along with Elijah and Rowan, moved into the Peace House in June.  Charlie, who was employed as an editor in the field of theology and ethics by Wipf and Stock publishers, based in Eugene, would be doing most of his work online from their third floor rooms at the Peace House.

Then later, in early 2016, we met Mpagi Kirumira, a young human rights activist from Uganda.  He had just arrived in Portland intending to apply to the US government for political asylum.  After hearing his inspiring story we invited him also to live with us at the Peace House where he remains a valued housemate four years later.  Michael encouraged Mpagi to accept a staff position as First Congregational church and he continued to be employed there regularly until the arrival of the pandemic that changed everything.

Mpagi’s asylum application is stalled, unfortunately because of the Trump administration’s opposition to most forms of immigration.

I myself began to attend First Congregational Church regularly on Sunday mornings mostly because of my appreciation for Michael’s preaching. But I still harbored the hope that Michael and Alana would one day be able to live with us at ourPeace House on NE 18thAve.

It wasn’t until the summer of 2017 that this hope was realized.  The Oberlin Peace House dissolved and Michael and Alana moved in with us just weeks before Alana gave birth to their daughter Zuzu. 

In that summer of 2017 and for the months that followed the two original couples who founded the Peace House—Bruce and Ann and Pat and I—were now blessed with the companionship of two theologically-trained younger couples and a young single man.  

To summarize, there were Mpagi, Michael and Alana, Charlie and Erin and the three children of the two new couples as an added bonus!   And for several months we were joined by Erin’s younger sister Jaymee Martin and later her new husband Marc Rodriguez until they later found a permanent home in Hillsboro. 

Later, in the spring of 2018, we welcomed Maureen Gullet as a resident of the Peace House knowing that her eight living minor children had all been placed in foster care by the State of Oregon Children’s Services division because of physical abuse issues connected to the father of the children.  

We became an advocate for Maureen and eventually helped her regain custody of her four youngest children, all under the age of 12. Fast forward then to the start of the school year in the late summer of 2019, when we would finally be able to welcome into the Peace House Melody (11), Olivia (8), Ava (7), and Holden (2).  All five of these Gullets—mother and children—brought great joy to our changing household as we entered into 2020!

 And I must mention also Norm, our oldest housemate who was approaching his 90thbirthday and who had joined the Peace House family before 2015. He was a steady, faithful fixture in our household until he moved into an assisted living facility in 2018.

I have positive memories of those next several months shared by all whom I have mentioned above. We have especially enjoyed the growing intergenerational aspect of our life together.  For at least a decade before Maureen arrived on the scene, we had watched over Bruce as he struggled with the effects of Alzheimer’s disease, and he reciprocated by sharing with us his loyalty, enthusiasm and good humor, even if these attributes were sometimes disconnected from reality. 

One of the last memories we all shared together, though in separate locations, was in the summer of 2018, on the day of the total eclipse of the sun. Half of us travelled to McMinnville, Oregon to view the event in its totality.  The rest settled for a little less than totality as they gathered with their safety glasses in the Westminster Church parking lot two blocks from the Peace House.

Shortly after that event Ann, who had a history of diabetes and congestive heart failure died peacefully at home after a brief confinement, in August of 2017. 

Pat remembers that early in the morning on the day Ann died, while she was still in bed, she said to Pat, “I think I’ll be going down today,”   Pat replied “Do you mean you want to get up and go downstairs to Morning Prayer?”   “No’ Ann said, “I think this is the day I’ll be going down into the ground.”

At her request Ann was buried without a casket so that her physical remains could begin to decompose without delay and return quickly to the dust from which we all come.  All of her six children plus her grandchildren were present for a family service on a sunny day on a hillside overlooking the Willamette River. Several weeks later a large crowd remembered her fruitful life at a public memorial gathering at Westminster Presbyterian Church.

It was hard to tell exactly what Bruce understood about the sudden absence of his life’s partner. But he seemed to have been spared much of the grief that a person without Alzheimer’s would face in a similar situation.  And why not, since his home was still filled with family who loved and cared for him.

Bruce himself followed Ann in death several months later, in the spring of 2018.  Several weeks before he died, in the early darkness of a spring morning ,Bruce had left the house on his own, unbeknownst to his housemates.  When his absence was discovered about 4:30 AM a frantic search ensued.  At about 7:00 AM Bruce was found slumped on a sidewalk, injured and unconscious, by construction workers arriving at a job site about nine blocks away from the Peace House.

Had he tripped and fallen there in the early morning darkness, or had he perhaps been mugged by someone taking advantage of his age and disability hoping to grab whatever petty cash he might have in his pocket? We will probably never know because Bruce had no memory of the event.

After several days in the hospital Bruce returned home.  But he mostly slept as his life gradually ebbed away until he entered quietly into his eternal rest.  We celebrated his life on July 9that a lively Peace House gathering packed with people who shared stories of his life and ministry with Ann.  The event concluded with a slide presentation and an impromptu male quartet—comprised of Michael, Charlie, Darrell and me--singing the following tribute to both Bruce and Ann using a traditional barbershop quartet tune:

Chorus

You had a dream dear I had one too
Mine was the best dream  ‘cause it was of you
Come sweetheart tell me now is the time
You tell me your dream.  I'll tell you mine.

1.

In the fifties a handsome physician

With a fresh new diploma in hand

Shared his dream of an overseas mission

With a comely young woman named Ann.

She said, “Your dream sounds like my dream”

So together they crafted a plan:

They’d marry and then serve together

With the people who lived in Iran. (Chorus)

2.

In the sixties they built a large fam’ly—

Four daughters along with two boys—

While fulfilling their calling in mission

With all of its hardships and joys.

In the seventies, back in the US,

Their dreaming never did cease.

Together they turned their attention

To struggles for justice and peace. (Chorus)

3. 

In the eighties they shared dreams with others

Of a radical new way to be

In a shared-income peace-making household

In intentional community.

Bruce retired from his surgical duties

At Bess Kaiser and new Sunnyside,

Devoting new volunteer free time

To the poor and the marginalized. (Chorus)

4. 

In the nineties Bruce be-came an ally

With new Native American friends,

Supporting political struggles

While determined their suff’ring to mend.

With Ann he helped run a free clinic

Off’ring health care and open to all.

He never stopped caring for others, 

And always remembered his call. (Chorus)

5. 

Who know what new form Bruce’s dreams took

As mem-o-ry began to fade

Did he dream of a future in heaven

And a life waiting there ready-made?

Or did he just live from day to day happy,

Enjoying the smiles of his friends

While he slipped slowly into that future 

and the great dream that will never end (Chorus)

Bruce’s passing means, of course means that Pat and I are the only remaining survivors of the original group of seven whose started the Peace House in 1986 and who did so by placing 100% of our respective monthly incomes into a single common purse after the example of the follows of the risen Jesus as reported in the Acts of the Apostles. Our current practice at the Peace House is to receive into the common purse approximately one third of our collective income for each month. 

But Brace and Ann continue to share in our congregational koinonia even though they are no longer with usbecause they had the foresight to name Metanoia Peace Community the beneficiary on their individual retirement account.  So while it lasts we are able to take care of several deferred maintenance concerns and also to have extra funds to share with those who are finically strapped because of severely limited income and unexpected financial emergencies.

This posthumous gift from Bruce and Ann was especially gratifying because the two of them shared with Pat and me and others in Metanoia Peace Community the same negative opinions about private wealth.  They understood that they were only stewards, not owners, of wealth which they came to have only because of inequities in American society that reward medical doctors and other “professionals” with higher compensation while expecting other working people to settle for much less.  And of course now we are the stewards of common wealth that we pass on to others.

Again we have experienced in our communal life the truth expressed in the words of Jesus when he said.  “Do not worry about your life . . . but seek first the commonwealth of God and God’s righteousness and all these [other] things [that you really need] will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:25-33)

Negotiating Differences

Even though I personally valued my relationships with all of the surviving housemates listed above, and enjoyed my connection with each of them during the months after the Huntworks died, it was impossible to ignore some friendly disagreements and fundamental, but apparently irreconcilable, differences that surfaced from time to time while living in community.  

Most of the difficulties in our household over the past several years could be traced to a significant divergence of opinion about what the Peace House community is now or should be going forward.

Metanoia Peace Community has always been and officially is still a United Methodist congregation.  In my view it remains a church in fact and not just in theory, or “on paper,” even though it is a church that is smaller now than it has ever been and consists only of residents of the Peace House plus fewer than a dozen others who also participated regularly or occasionally in its daily morning worship and its several active ministries, including the Hard Times Supper for homeless and low-income persons.

However Erin and Charlie were of the opinion that, although Metanoia Peace Community had once been a church, it no longer fit the definition of “church.”  Instead they contended that Peace House should consider itself only as a living community of Christians who share their home life and some of their ministries together.  Church life for them was better represented and expressed through their active participation in Fremont United Methodist Church which meets about one mile from the Peace House.  

Pat and I, on the other hand, no longer felt a need to be active in another UM congregation since we continued to think of of Metanoia Peace Community UMC as our church home.  And several other active Metanoia members, including some who no longer lived at Peace House felt the same way.

Michael and Alana, like Pat and me, were attracted to the notion of Peace House as an authentic church, an ekklesia that perhaps more clearly resembles the scattered “churches before Christianity” that are described in the New Testament.  We liked the fact that we were different from most contemporary institutional churches such as Fremont UMC and even First Congregational UCC, where Michael was still the pastor.

In fact Michael was already considering resigning his position as senior pastor of First Congregational Church, so he could have more time to devote to the Metanoia church. He had tried for several years to steer his UCC congregation in a different direction and, even though he had inspired many younger adult members, old and new, to embrace a more New Testament version and vision of church, he faced a deep-seated congregational inertia and resistance that would not easily be overcome.

So when I suggested in a house meeting that it might be the time to “re-animate Metanoia,” drawing on the younger, talented leadership ability that was present in our household, Michael and Alana were interested while Erin and Charlie clearly were not.

I don’t recall any open hostility being a part of our conversations after that time, but the differences continued to be felt and sometimes openly expressed in different ways and at different times.  Although these differences appeared to be irreconcilable, we continued to honor them for a time, yet not without some growing discomfort.

Michael did finally resign from his position at First Congregational Church, in the fall of 2018.

Then in late December of 2018, during a holiday visit with Alana’s extended family in Kentucky, Michael and Alana wrestled prayerfully with deep questions about their future.  Should they return to New York City to re-connect with old friends and find opportunities for ministry there? Or should they move to the Puget Sound area where Michael’s brothers and his aging and ailing parents live so they could be of assistance to them?  Or should they stay put and make their future in Portland where Michael already now had a part-time paying position with Ecumenical Ministries of Oregon (EMO) doing organizing work that could utilize his considerable talents?

They returned after the holidays feeling that their prayers had been answered.  They announced to the household that God was calling them to stay in Portland at the Peace House to help re-animate Metanoia Peace Community, with Michael offering to take John’s place as pastor of an expanding Metanoia congregation as it pursued a new future together.

If the resulting changes that might come about as a result of this announcement were not easy to negotiate, they seemed inevitable to everyone in the household.  Several months later Erin and Charlie shared their decision to move with Elijah and Rowan into a rental house located very near the Fremont United Methodist Church.  (Although we presume they did not anticipate it at the time, about one year after their move United Methodist Bishop Elaine Stenovski announced she would appoint Erin to be the pastor of the Fremont Church starting July 1, 2020) So their separation from the Peace House would seem to have turned out well for all concerned. 

Meanwhile Michael was beginning to put energy into strengthening the peace witness of Metanoia Peace Community.  He led us in creating a series of monthly encounters with nationally known peacemakers with whom he had already developed relationships.  We called the series the Peace Train.

Through this new activity, we welcomed to the Peace House for public presentations, such luminaries as Dr Osagyefo Sekou, a New York activist, theologian, author and musician; Khenpo Pema Wangdak, a Tibetan Buddhist monk; Dr. Randy Woodley, a Native American college professor and political activist; Rev. Dr. Alex Awad, UM Missionary and champion of human rights for Palestinians; and Rev Tara Wilkins, pioneer and interfaith promoter of marriage equality for sexual minority persons.

Although I was still the official, appointed pastor of Metanoia Peace Community UMC, Michael had more time and freedom to exercise his leadership skills with us, allowing me to step back from some responsibilities and leave more to his management.

The Re-animation of Metanoia Peace Community was underway!  

You will learn more about this revitalization process, and some attendant complications, when you read Chapter Four of this sequel.

I close this chapter on changing Peace House demographics with this note: Even as I was beginning to pen these words, in March of 2020, we added another delightful young couple to our growing Peace House family. Fey Wolf and Kody Barnett are in their late 20s so if my calculations are correct the median age of our communal household has dropped to 31!

 CHAPTER TWO

Writing Projects

After I finished my memoir just prior to our 40thAnniversary on March 15, 2015, I set my mind to complete another writing project that I had started several years previously, I was finally able to finish it later in the spring.  It is a long essay entitled Ten Practices for Emergent Churches.[1]  It started out as a reaction to a book by a United Methodist Bishop in Missouri, entitled, Five Practices for Fruitful Congregations.”

Although the bishop’s book was not without merit I saw it as primarily a call for the reform of institutional church life, and I had moved in my thinking well beyond institutional Christianity.  I wondered for instance why he felt the need to invent a list of practices when the practices of the earliest followers of Jesus are easily found in “The Acts of the Apostles” and other New Testament writings—practices that the bishop mostly ignored when he prepared his list!

To make my point even clearer I used a different noun from the Greek New Testament as the title for each of the ten chapters: ekklesia (gathering), metanoia(repentance and redirection), koinonia(community), diakonia(ministry or service), kergma(proclamation), marturia(witness), parresia (holy boldness), dikaiosune(righteousness), eirene(peacemaking), and agape(unconditional love).

As my earlier memoir had given me an opportunity talk about the life together that Pat and I had shared, the essay on the Ten Practices became for me a kind of summary of where I had been moving in my theological development over the years.

Although I thought that the Ten Practices would be most helpful to persons who were starting new non-institutional church congregations, Michael Ellick saw them as useful in his attempt to get members of his downtown UCC congregation to rethink the meaning of church and Christian discipleship and become less institutional and more like the churches of the New Testament.  In September through November of 2015 he set aside ten Sundays on which he or his associate pastor preached on each of the ten practices.   The Ten Practices were also the focus of an adult education conversation prior to the morning worship on each of those Sundays.

In addition, for many months I continued to write monthly articles for the Grief Watch online newsletter.  I especially tried to interpret grief as it appears in the stories in the Bible and to do so in a way that offers spiritual sustenance for readers who are struggling with their sense of loss in contemporary situations.

I have found it extremely satisfying to see a few people appreciating the things I have written and finding ways to make use of whatever wisdom and insight I have been blessed to receive over my more than 50 years of ministry.

So now I am writing this sequel to the earlier memoir.  I ask myself, and others may wonder also, why I feel a need to write these further reflections.

I certainly am not expecting, or even desiring, that what I write during these later years of my life on this planet will be widely read.  And I don’t suppose for a moment that my words will change the world in any measureable way.

I simply want to continue to tell our story—Pat’s and mine--for whatever encouragement this may offer to ordinary persons who have answered the call to follow Jesus and find it hard to do so in the institutional churches they inhabit. I want the reader to hear our testimony that a peace that passes understanding awaits those who take Jesus seriously and who abide with him daily without giving up when the way gets hard, or even inconvenient.

 CHAPTER THREE

Re-purposing Sunnyside 

Starting in 2015, the year when changes in the demographics and mutual ministries of the Peace House were beginning to unfold, substantial changes were also taking place at Sunnyside-Centenary United Methodist Church

In January of that year Pat and I learned that the Sunnyside-Centenary congregation had voted to disband effective September 5, 2015.  Later we got a notice that the Common Cup Family Shelter and the Hard Times Supper ministry, both ministries that Metanoia Peace Ministry had been co-sponsoring in the Sunnyside-Centenary Church building for many years, would have to be lodged in other facilities if we wanted to continue them.  

The reasons, we were told, were that the ownership of the church building would be transferred to the Oregon-Idaho Annual Conference of the UMC, and that the conference officers would be moving to put the property up for sale.

In June, when the formal discontinuance of the Sunnyside-Centenary congregation was approved by the Annual Conference session in Salem, I rose to object to any move by the Annual Conference officers to sell the property.  I reminded the assembly that even though the congregation would no longer be occupying the building there were still significant ministries taking place in the 38,000-square-foot facility—including activities sponsored by another United Methodist congregation, i.e. Metanoia Peace Community UMC!

Other non-profit groups, including a pre-school and daycare center.were also regularly serving hundreds of low-income persons and neighborhood residents.  To offer this precious neighborhood resource to a developer who could and might demolish it and replace it with upscale condominiums or apartment units in a gentrifying neighborhood would, I pleaded, not be in the community’s or the denomination’s best interests.

After returning home from Annual Conference I got key leaders from several Portland UM congregations to join Pat and me in a petition to the Annual Conference leaders to not put the building up for sale.  We even offered that Metanoia Peace Community could henceforth serve as the steward of the property for the Annual Conference, managing the facility and covering all of its costs through building user fees so that no expense would have to be covered by the Annual Conference.  

We wanted to show the Annual Conference leaders how an existing UM church could remain in ministry at the Sunnyside location, while preserving an asset that a future new UM congregation could later utilize.

For reasons we will probably never understand conference officers declined our offer.  But at least they postponed the idea of selling the building.  They then proceeded to pay a former Sunnyside Church member $1,000 per month to act as part-time property manager, something that we had offered to do for free!  And they did agree to give Metanoia and other potential partners nine months to work out a plan for ongoing use of the building.

When Erin Martin began her assignment as District Superintendent on July 1, 2015, she proved to be an important ally.  Immediately after she presided over the discontinuance of the congregation at a final Sunday service on September 5, she convened a nine-person Discernment Team to begin developing short and long range plans for maintaining the building as a place for ministry.  And she appointed both Pat and me to serve on the team, which we were eager to do!  Erin and her husband Charlie were also members of the team.

In a short period of time the Discernment Team was able to convince the Conference officers to relax some of the conditions they had imposed on building users.  This would give us additional time to demonstrate how future worthwhile ministries could take place in the building if the Conference were to retain ownership indefinitely. What we envisioned for the future at Sunnyside is suggested in a Statement of Purpose which, while still in draft form, reflected an emerging consensus among members of the Discernment Team:

Our purpose is to bring together a variety of public agencies, faith communities, and charitable 501-c-3 organizations in an ongoing joint effort to address the needs of marginalized and low income families and individuals, primarily in the Sunnyside neighborhood of inner-city Portland. Such efforts may include:

1.     Offering hospitality, temporary shelter, and other immediate, essential services,

2.     Developing life expanding opportunities including income-producing enterprises,

3.     Cultivating a “culture of caring” that brings together the rich variety of persons who live and work in the Sunnyside neighborhood, and

4.     Sponsoring periodic “co-laboratories of service learning involving groups of youth and adults.

One of the groups that we wanted to become a partner in this “Sunnyside Connection” would be a new United Methodist congregation (as yet unborn). I personally hoped that the new congregation would not be formed in the current institutional church mold, but as a gathering of disciples that more closely resembles the ekklesiadescribed in the New Testament and the gatherings of early Methodist lay Christians organized by John Wesley.  That would not be up to me, of course, but to someone younger and more in tune with the proclivities of younger generations.

We were also in conversation with the neighbors, city officials, and non- profit agencies as we looked at how more space in the building could be made available to serve and even shelter homeless residents of southeast Portland.

While trimming some of the shrubbery on a corner of the large addition to the original building we discovered a cornerstone that read “Sunnyside Community House 1925”. A review of historical documents confirmed that the original Sunnyside congregation had constructed the addition, which contained a gymnasium and an indoor swimming pool (since decommissioned!) because they intended it to be a place that would be open and available for recreational use by residents of the Sunnyside neighborhood.

Some of us started calling the whole building the Sunnyside Community House, including as part of it the large, seldom used, sanctuary which we could envision as a neighborhood assembly hall and performing arts venue. Eventually the old name stuck and an outdoor sign that read Sunnyside-Centenary United Methodist Church was covered over with another sign that read SUNNYSIDE COMMUNITY HOUSE.

Pat proved to be an effective organizer in this new cause, building relationships with the Sunnyside neighbors, raising money, talking with potential partners, and enlisting volunteers to help with cleaning, painting and other chores.

After Pat and I shared with a former member of Metanoia Peace Community what we were up to our friend said, “After reading your memoir, I had this sense that your life together had been like a large arc as your ministry increased over the years but now was beginning to diminish after accomplishing much. But now I see a new arc beginning to take shape in your lives!”  She was right.  The beginning of our new work in the Sunnyside neighborhood would be one of the experiences we will cherish and celebrate most whenever we look back to 2015 and the years following.

Pat embraced with fervor the task of making the Sunnyside building a welcoming place.  She found old pictures taken during the early 20thcentury when the Sunnyside congregation had hundreds of members including an abundance of children,  She had the pictures enlarged and framed and mounted them on inside walls for all to enjoy.  She found area rugs and placed them in difference places to make the building feel more homelike.  And indoor and outdoor plants appeared where none had been before.

In early 2016 we hosted an open house to show off the improvements that were underway.  The event was attended by over 100 people including Annual Conference leaders, Sunnyside neighbors including houseless residents, and members of other United Methodist churches.

Pat also recruited other non-profit groups, to use the facilities and pay building use fees to the Annual conference to cover the costs of utilities and maintenance, not only for the main building but for two adjacent rental houses that the Conference also owned.  

Eventually the part time building manager hired by the Annual Conference asked to be relieved of her duties since Pat was on site every day and more able to keep track of the building users and their activities.  So Pat became the de facto manager of the property even though she didn’t have the title of manager and did not ask to be paid for her services, since she was eager to see any surplus revenue from building users be used for building improvements instead of salary.

At the same time I personally and voluntarily took over the responsibility of receiving and recording  building use payments and forwarding them to the Annual Conference.  The Conference Treasurer did not object to this ad hocarrangement as long as my amateur accounting met the expectations of the conference comptroller.

While serving in these roles Pat and I figured out a further way to improve the operation of Sunnyside Community House.  The Conference Board of Trustees had imposed a requirement that building users be required to show proof of 501-c-3 status plus their own liability insurance including substantial coverage for sexual misconduct.  The effect of this requirement was to exclude individuals and informal groups like Alcoholics Anonymous, wedding parties, and spur-of-the-moment neighborhood gatherings that, for instance, just wanted to use the gymnasium for playing basketball occasionally and were willing to pay a fee for the opportunity to do so.

So we arranged for Metanoia Peace Community to be sponsors of these groups. With the permission of Metanoia’s insurance carrier we designated the Sunnyside Community House as an “off premises” ministry site, and paid a larger insurance premium that would cover the liability of groups that used the Sunnyside facilities but did not have separate insurance policies.

In effect Metanoia Peace Community became a church with two “campuses”—the Peace House property and the Sunnyside property, both which we were now managing.  Within Metanoia financial structure we then created a “Sunnyside Mission Fund,” into which we placed building use funds from the individual and groups we served, and then passed those funds on to the Annual Conference.  Again the Conference officers did not object to this arrangement as long as the Annual Conference was protected from liability in this way.

Also with the permission of the Annual Conference we received voluntary contributions from individuals and churches for Metanoia’s Sunnyside Mission Fund, and used this money to pay for building improvements that would add to our expanding ministries with homeless persons.

In fact, we often wondered why the Conference had rejected our original offer to manage the building, since we were now doing what we had proposed to do originally!

I felt great satisfaction when I saw my fellow Peace House residents and other Metanoia friends actively helping with and sharing in Metanoia’s Wednesday night suppers and other ministries with homeless people at Sunnyside on a regular basis.  The Peace House was clearly a part of Sunnyside and Sunnyside was a part of us.

I was also moved on a Wednesday evening when I noticed an old friend among the volunteers who were helping with the Hard Times Supper.  Frank Shields, a former United Methodist minister, had also represented a district in Portland as a Senator in the Oregon Legislature. Before and during his early years in the Legislature Frank had served as pastor of Sunnyside Centenary United Methodist Church for 21 years.

Most notably Frank had been a strong advocate for the poor.  It was he who in the late 1980s persuaded his congregation to welcome the Hard Times Supper ministry to Sunnyside.  In so doing he helped create a longstanding partnership in homeless ministry between Lincoln St. UMC, the Sunnyside congregation and later Metanoia Peace Community UMC.

Frank also helped create the Common Cup shelter ministry for homeless families, a ministry which Metanoia later inherited from Sunnyside and several other cooperating United Methodist churches in S.E. Portland.

After Frank retired both from pastoral ministry and political life, he lived for several years in the Southeast and Midwest U.S. before returning with his wife ‘Becca to live in Portland. And now he was back at Sunnyside, sitting in his favorite spot (because his physical condition now made it difficult to stand for long periods) this time helping to scrape the soiled plates of Hard Times Supper guests to get them ready for the automatic dishwasher.

Frank remainsed one of the strongest volunteer cheerleaders for our homeless ministries, as does James Moiso, the retired pastor of Westminster Presbyterian Church and dozens of other volunteers from Lake Oswego UMC, Lake Grove Presbyterian Church, Rose City Park Presbyterian Church, Portland Mennonite Church, Unity Church of Portland, Bridgeport UCC, First UCC, and others.

Their enthusiasm remains even though the Wednesday night suppers at Sunnyside are currently suspended indefinitely, as I explain in Chapters Four and Five of this memoir.

 CHAPTER FOUR

Remaining at Odds

“Being at Odds” was the title of Chapter 15 in my previous memoir, Resistance and Redirection: Our First Forty Years. There I acknowledged that although I have remained a loyal part of the United Methodist Church during my entire life, there hasn’t been a year that I have not felt at odds with the leaders, the practices, and sometimes even the majority opinions of my denominational family.  I have been open about my points of difference and in fact I summarized and explained several of these differences in Chapter 15 of my earlier memoir.

Little has changed in the past 5 years.  Time and again Pat and I have stumbled into these same differences as they play out in new situations.  For example, in chapter one of this sequel I note the ways in which we now found ourselves at odds with some of our housemates when we discussed the meaning and future direction of Metanoia Peace Community and the Peace House itself.

I felt some of the same tension as we attempted to figure out what the new Sunnyside Community House would look like.  Pat and I expected that the right way would be revealed to us all together if we just keep reminding ourselves who we are and whose we are.  If we live in the way of Jesus and focus on building relationships with Sunnyside neighbors and neighborhood leaders, including homeless and other low-income citizens who are often ignored by people of means, the Spirit of Jesus will show us the way and become for us the Way.

It seemed to us that Erin and Charlie were more comfortable seeking the advice of persons who were reputed to be experts in the kind of enterprise we were pursuing.  In fact Erin found sufficient grant funds within the financial resources of the Annual Conference to hire an outside consultant, who would spend time visiting at Sunnyside, examine and analyze our situation, compare it with other similar projects that were successful and finally produce a written report, with her recommendations.

A consultant was hired. She did what she was contracted to do, but from Pat’s and my point of view she tended  to look at our project as an outsider and so drew hasty conclusions that she could be easily summarize in writing.  But it seemed to us there was much that we were already doing that she apparently failed to notice and take into consideration. 

Pat and I felt that we could rather have benefitted from an experienced person (a pastor perhaps) who would begin by building relationships with Sunnyside neighbors and spending quality time getting to know Pat and the other building occupants who were already working to create the future of Sunnyside Community House together.  And this, in our opinion did not seem to happen.  

I don’t want to allege that one way is right and the other wrong.  I just want to acknowledge the difficulty of working together when the parties have such conflicting ideas about what is the best way to proceed.

Another example of “being at odds” surfaced when Pat and I gathered a small group of people for weekly worship at the Sunnyside location. We included homeless Hard Times Supper participants plus some long -time members of Metanoia Peace Community.  On a series of consecutive Sunday afternoons we sang, prayed and reflected on scripture readings using a “lectio divina” format.  These services were not widely advertised because we were not trying to grow a permanent worshipping congregation. Our intention was only to offer worship to those we knew who were already desiring the experience, because we (Metanoia) were a church and because offering opportunities for worship, prayer and Bible reflection in groups together is one of the things that churches do.   

Mindful of our desire, and the Annual Conference’s desire to have a pastoral leader appointed to create a new Sunnyside congregation, we included this unison prayer at each one of these Sunday gatherings:

PRAYING FOR SUNNYSIDE

God, we ask your blessing on this sacred space

that we call Sunnyside Community House.

May it be a gathering place

where authentic community can flourish, 

and all who live, work, and play

in this neighborhood can experience

love and acceptance.

Bless the partners who minister

in this place, and those whom

they serve, especially the poor and others.

who are easily forgotten and neglected.

And if it be your will, O God,

send leaders who can help turn

this small band of disciples gathered here

into a larger church of and for all people—

an ekklesiathat celebrates differences, yet 

makes no distinctions based on gender, 

social standing, sexual orientation, race, 

nationality, or any other human difference,

while worshipping and serving you together

as disciples of Jesus Christ.

Amen.

But Erin Martin, in her role as Metanoia’s District Superintendent, expressed some discomfort in our decision to conduct Sunday worship of any kind. Her reasoning was that it should be up to whatever pastor would eventually be appointed, not the leaders of Metanoia, to decide when and how such events would be scheduled and conducted. 

Although Pat and I and others could not understand why what we were doing could in anyway way be harmful during this interim period, we discontinued the services because of the discomfort that festered because of this difference.

We felt that our prayer for a new permanent pastoral leader who could organize a new Sunnyside congregation had been answered in the summer of 2017, when the Rev Courtney McHill, a young but experienced conference elder, was formally appointed by the Bishop to be the as pastor of the “Sunnyside New Development” congregation. Under the direction of Erin and the Innovation and Vitality Team of the Greater Northwest Area UMC, Courtney spent a year developing relationships with neighbors, including the houseless, and getting acquainted with neighborhood organizations and institutions. 

During her first summer at Sunnyside, Metanoia contributed a full scholarship and travel expenses to make it possible for Courtney to attend a Ten-Day Training in broad-based community organizing, held in Los Angeles.  It was the same excellent instruction, conducted by the Industrial Areas Foundation that had benefitted Pat and I, and Michael and Alana in earlier times and places. 

Courtney’s efforts did not lead to long-term results, however, for reasons unrelated to the Sunnyside new church project.  Just prior to her appointment she had met her future marriage partner while on the world famous Camino de Santiago pilgrimage in northern Spain.  At the end of her first and only year at Sunnyside she decided to take a personal leave of absence from ministry in order to make her home with her new partner in Germany.

In the meantime with encouragement from Erin, the Annual Conference had already hired John Mayer to be the part-time manager of the Sunnyside Community House property, to take much of that load off of Pat and Courtney 

John Mayer was already deeply involved in the Sunnyside ministry to the houseless as a volunteer.  He had first become acquainted with the Peace House and Metanoia when his infant daughter died and he and his wife became a part of Pat’s grief support group for grieving parents at the Peace House. John Mayer and Pat Schwiebert worked well together and helped to expand the homeless ministry after Courtney moved on.

In 2018, Conference leaders decided that having Erin continue as Metanoia’s District Superintendent was not ideal since her residency in the Peace House at the same time represented a potential conflict of interest.  So the Bishop assigned Tim Overton-Harris, the Cascade District Superintendent to oversee the ministry of Metanoia Peace Community, even though neither Metanoia, nor Sunnyside were part of his district.

This change led to a series of events during 2019 that further exacerbated my sense of “being at odds” with the leadership of the Annual Conference.

In early 2019 Michael Ellick and I met with Tim Overton-Harris and asked him to explore with Bishop Stanovsky the possibility of having Michael appointed to replace me as pastor of Metanoia Peace Community.  As we expected, Tim explained that because Michael is not an ordained United Methodist minister, he would have to be examined and approved by the Conference Board of Ordained Ministry in order to be appointed as a pastor in the Oregon-Idaho Conference under the category of “Full Member of Another Denomination.”  

Although it took weeks for Michael to assemble the necessary documents proving his  ordination and his proven pastoral leadership skills he was eventually examined and approved by the Board of Ordained Ministry a few days before the June, 2019 session of the Oregon-idaho Conference which would be the normal time for announcing new pastoral appointments. Tim offered no indication of any other requirement that might prevent the appointment from being announced at that time.

Michael had already spoken with me and other leaders of the Metanoia congregation about re-instituting a Metanoia Sunday worship service with him serving as the main preacher.  We were not yet ready to consider doing this weekly, but perhaps monthly to start.  We decided that this Sunday worship should take place at Sunnyside rather than at the Peace House.  We would gather folks, not in the sanctuary, but in the fellowship hall at Sunnyside because that was the space that our homeless friends were already familiar with.

For Metanoia to resume worship at Sunnyside would not have been an unprecedented move.  During its previous 33-year history the Metanoia congregation had conducted its worship in borrowed facilities for periods ranging from months to years.  These previous locations included Wilshire UMC, First African Methodist Episcopal ZionChurch, and even Sunnyside-Centenary UMC!

We decided on the spur of the moment to have our trial “Metanoia worship at Sunnyside” on the afternoon of Easter Sunday, 2019. To our delight about 75 people joined us to worship and to share the Easter supper that followed. As many as one third of the participants were homeless or other low income folks who had already attended the Wednesday night suppers.  The rest were either members or former members of Metanoia, or folks from First Congregational Church who came because they heard that Michael would be preaching!

Several occasional Sunday worship gatherings followed as we experimented with different formats and shared leadership.

A Difficult Turn of Events

In the spring of 2019 I had met with Tim Overton-Harris.  He told me that the Annual Conference leaders, including members of a recently formed Innovation and Vitality Team were in the process of making a decision about a new UM church start at Sunnyside, and that it would be in Metanoia’s best interest to prepare a written summary of the ways Metanoia would like to use portions of the Sunnyside building in the months to come for our continuing ministry with houseless individuals.

I need to explain that the Innovation and Vitality Team (I-V Team) was so named because of its mandate to move in like an Emergency Response Team to rescue churches that are on the verge of death by infusing them with new life and a fresh approach to ministry that would be more relevant to the changing times. 

The team had earlier prepared an excellent video identifying Sunnyside as being one of three dead or dying church situations in Portland that were in need of I-V intervention.  The video had been shown at the Annual Conference session in Boise in 2018.

In fact our own John Mayer was prominently featured in the I-V film as an up-and-coming young leader who, although he had no church background or inclination, was the just the kind of person needed to help make a new church in formation relevant to a younger generation.  This was even before John was hired by the Annual Conference to help guide the transformation of Sunnyside.

Metanoia members who viewed the video appreciated most of it and were glad that it seemed to indicate the Conference would be supporting and undergirding the efforts we were putting into Sunnyside. 

Some of us did react privately, however, when Leroy Barber, the I-V Team leader appeared in the video.  As the camera panned from a short view of the Sunnyside building to a view of the public school across the street, Leroy proclaimed to the viewers that part of the innovative new future they were planning for Sunnyside would be to build a bridge of cooperation between the church and the school.

Apparently Leroy did not realize at the time that the Sunnyside church and its successor Sunnyside Community House had already built a strong connection with that very school.  A closer look would have revealed to Leroy that the school’s principal and students were already partners in the church-sponsored ministry to homeless people, largely because of Pat’s organizing skills over a period of years.

This reality is just another example of ways that Pat and I, and other Metanoians, live at odds with the Annual Conference and most of the rest of the larger church-as-institution.  We endeavor to look to, and rely on, the Holy Spirit to supply the innovation and vitality that churches really need, not the programmed intervention of “experts,” which, we contend, offers a much less reliable hope for the saving and transformation of dead or dying congregations.  

As I indicated in my earlier memoir Metanoia had already learned a valuable lesson in this regard.  For whenever we in Metanoia forgot to look to the Holy Spirit for our guidance and relied instead on our own ambitious schemes we were always disappointed with the outcome!

But, back to 2019 and my meeting with the District Superintendent.

After our meeting I followed Tim’s instructions and a few days later I submitted a summary of Metanoia’s vision for an expanding ministry with houseless persons.  Because Pat had engaged in encouraging conversations with Jess Bielman, a Conference staff person and member of the Innovation and Vitality Team, our plan included our use of other rooms in the basement areas of the Sunnyside facility. 

We had already learned that the conference was planning to offer worship and program space at Sunnyside to The Groves, an existing independent congregation that was interested in becoming a United Methodist Church.  We were getting used to our idea that two small United Methodist Churches—Metanoia and The Groves—could be sharing a building that, in our opinion, was large enough to accommodate both.  We could see that prospect as an excellent example of “innovation and vitality.”

Pat and I were further intrigued by the idea of the two congregations working together after showing up unannounced, on two different Sunday morning during the Spring of 2019, to worship with the Groves congregation in their rented location. 

We were therefore shocked when Leroy Barber summoned John Mayer, the leaders of Metanoia and several other building users to a meeting to hear the following announcements with the full backing of the Annual Conference staff:

1.    The Groves Church would take over full management of the Sunnyside building effective July 1, 2019.

2.    John Mayer’s employment by the Annual Conference would be terminated on June 30, 2019. 

3.    Metanoia Peace Community would be allowed to continue its meals and other activities with the homeless, at Sunnyside, but only until September 15, 2019, by which time Metanoia would be expected to have moved all of its personal property from the premises.

To make sure we would not fail to understand that the Annual Conference was serious about our scheduled eviction, even before the eviction date the building locks were changed and we were not given new keys or access codes. This meant that, unlike other building users, we sometimes had to wait for the new manager to arrive before we could be admitted to the building to be about our continuing work there.

A Season of Grief

There is a saying that losses and other bad news always come in threes.  For us, the sudden impending eviction from Sunnyside where we had been in ministry for more than three decades was loss number one. 

A short time later, just before I was to leave for the Annual Conference session in Eugene, we learned that Michael and Alana’s unborn child Willow had serious physical anomalies and little chance of survival. That was loss number two.  

And loss number three? After I arrived at Annual Conference I talked to Tim, our District Superintendent. I casually posed this question: “Well then, when the pastoral appointment for Metanoia Peace Community UMC is read aloud by the bishop will I get to hear someone else’s name called out instead of mine, for the first time in 34 years? “ His casual answer was that there had not been enough time before the Conference session for the Conference Cabinet to process Metanoia’s request that Michael be appointed as Metanoia’s pastor.  “But that’s okay,” he said.  “We can always make an appointment ad interim” (i.e. sometime after the current Conference session is over and before next year’s Annual Conference session begins).

Thus it was that a pall of Grief settled over the Peace House. Michael and Alana’s loss was the hardest to bear. I would not presume to describe what grief was like for any parent whose dreams of parenthood were interrupted so suddenly, nor could anyone else except perhaps another parent who has gone through a similar painful experience. 

But I can speak of the pain I experienced.  And I presume our other housemates felt something of what I felt--the agony of not being able to take away Michael and Alana’s pain or even to lessen it by somehow absorbing it, or even being close enough to it to provide adequate comfort.   We were among their closest friends and their newest family members because of our shared household connection. But they have other and older friends and family that they also needed to turn to in this time.  

This meant periods of time when they were away from us. We were glad to yield that time and space that they needed, but I for one experienced grief simply because of their necessary absence in those times  

Michael and Alana also clearly needed time apart for themselves alone. They found comfort in camping trips with Zuzu where they could connect with the healing power of creation.  Being in deep grief it was hard for them to see beyond the pain to picture what future might lie ahead of them.  Several times they apologized to the rest of us for not being able to make any promises to us about whether they could even continue to make a future with us, even though they also felt no immediate impulse to leave.

Michael openly expressed to us his doubts about whether he had enough faith and confidence to lead Metanoia, or any congregation.  He did not even feel that he would be able to follow through on his plans to continue the new Sunday worship opportunity for the old and new friends of Metanoia that he had already begun to invite.

Meanwhile even after 9 months passed since the session of the Annual conference our District Superintendent still had given us no indication of any plans to even consider, let alone announce, the appointment of Michael as pastor of Metanoia.  That led me to wonder if I should I feel glad that he had not contacted us because there was no way we could have had a meaningful conversation when we were dealing with the grief.  Or should I feel hurt as I wondered if he was stalling and that possibly the reason he hadn’t contacted us was that he didn’t really want to see us get what we had asked for.

During most of the summer it was hard for all of us to deal with the loss of our unborn house member and still find the will and energy to be about the business of the Peace House.  We were under a mandate to finish up our ministry at the Sunnyside location, before September 15.  This would mean talking to leaders of other churches and non-profits to see if we could simply move our operation to another space where we could continue without interruption after September 15.  

By this time Metanoia Church had hired John Mayer as its Director of Homeless Services so that he could continue his important work with our low-income constituents without interruption when his employment by the Annual Conference was ended on June 30.  So he was continuing to work closely with Pat and with Sandy Lofy who was already a valued part-time employee of Metanoia hired to work directly with the homeless

And, we wondered, if there were no offers of a new location, would we have to accept that our ministry to the homeless would end forever on September 15 or would we just put our plans on hold, and our equipment in storage while we waited and prayed for a future we could not see?

Casey Jonquil one of our loyal volunteers found free space available where we could store tables, chairs, and other equipment and we began the moving process.  

We gathered for a final meal on September 15, 2019, celebrating our time at Sunnyside and recognizing that God was still calling us to continue this ministry. After our “last supper” ended we loaded remaining items on a truck and locked the door for the last time.

About a week later an article by Staff Writer Helen Hill entitled “The Last Supper” appeared in the Sept. 20-26, 2020 issue of Street Roots, a local newspaper written with the plight of homeless people in mind.  The subtitle read: “The Sunnyside Community House has served its final free meal and its 38-year run has come to an end—for now.”

Below are some excerpts from that article:

 . . . on Wednesday, Sept. 11 the last supper was served, and an enduring legacy came to an end.  

For many the loss is staggering. ‘When people are homeless, they need a place where they can feel normal even for a couple of hours,’ said Mike Perez, who has been coming here for 20 years.  “I love this place” diner Timothy Varner said. “It’s special.  I don’t know where I’m going to go.  They can’t just close it down, but that’s what they’re saying. They had a meeting in the office upstairs, and Pat came down crying.  What can we do?”

Pat Schwiebert is the woman at the epicenter of this 38-year old phenomenon. She started the Hard Times Supper in 1981 along with a crew of others. John Mayer, her co-director of services for the past two years, said she has missed only three or four dinners out of some 2,000 served.

Schwiebert brings an unparalleled passion and dedication to the work. A small, energetic force of nature, she is 74-years young and beloved by the community. For decades, she’s been gleaning food, collecting donations and picking up weekly supplies from the Oregon Food Bank to create the constant flow of meals. 

”We don’t serve anything here we wouldn’t put in front of our own families.” She said. . .

Pat Schwiebert said keeping the supper going has been anything but a hardship for her. “I never had to push myself.  When people say ‘When are you going to retire?’ do you really retire from something that’s a part of you?  Do you retire from your family?  You don’t. I’m doing what I love.  I’m very much at peace.  We’ve learned to live simply. Our folks have taught me how to do that. . . .

Amy Kleiner is principal of Sunnyside Environmental School, across the street from the Sunnyside Community House.  Kleiner said she thinks the presence of the Sunnyside Community House under the guidance of Schwiebert and Mayer created a safe environment.  In a recent school newsletter she wrote:

The impact of this displacement has been hard on the community.  Many of the folks who were the ‘eyes and ears” of the park have physically left, and they’ve shared that the dissolution of this community has caused additional, compounded trauma.  Additionally, several families who live nearby have reported an increase in unsafe behavior on the corner.  I want to affirm that I, personally, feel the loss of community and some of the folks in the park are unfamiliar to me at this time.  For me, an unintended consequence of the displacement of the program is actually the loss of the connection to John and Pat. This has led to more trash and debris piling up, as well as a sentiment of fear and uncertainty among the folks on the corner.

But, as you will see when you read the next Chapter, this was not to be the end of Metanoia’s ministry to homeless persons. And this would not be the end of our experience with being at odds of the Annual Conference of which we were a member.  (See more on page 45)

CHAPTER FIVE

Making Do

John Mayer put the matter succinctly: Metanoia’s ministry with homeless people was now itself—homeless!  Seeing the problem in those terms helped us to begin to figure out next steps.  We had to think about being without a place to call home the way our homeless friends have to think about this dilemma every day.  Where and how will we secure what we need to be able to offer to homeless people what they need need when we don’t have a place to go that is warm and secure?

It was still summer fortunately and homeless people could eat outside.  So our most dedicated volunteers immediately began to assemble sandwiches and other portable nutrients that could be served “al fresco.” They took the food to several locations in the area where our “peeps,” as we called them, were encamped.  These were persons with whom we had developed relationships over time and who themselves had become accustomed to helping make the Hard Times Supper and related ministries work for everyone who came.  In the language of institutional UM church record keeping they would be recorded and counted as “constituents”

Every day between 40 and 60 homeless friends began to anticipate the approach of familiar vehicles carrying food and volunteers.

Unfortunately there were some unpleasant hassles when disgruntled neighbors who lived in nearby homes also noticed the arrival of these vehicles.  They complained to the city that we were contributing to the deterioration of their neighborhood by responding in this way to the people we had been serving. They presumed, we guessed, that these homeless folks were only remaining in the neighborhood because we were sharing food with them.

It was hard to explain that these homeless persons used to spend many afternoons inside the Sunnyside community House doing out of sight what they now had to do in public—eating, napping and visiting.

But fortunately the disgruntled neighbors were a minority as even more people supported what we were doing, including most of the members of the Sunnyside Neighborhood Association Board of Directors, who offered to help us negotiate differences with neighbors, while accepting as valid what we were trying to accomplish in their neighborhood.

Our biggest disappointment was that when leaders of our own United Methodist Annual Conference heard complaints from neighbors they chose to simply take the complaints at face value without inviting us into the conversation.

As pastor of Metanoia I started getting emails from Tim Overton-Harris instructing us that Metanoia volunteers would not be allowed to conduct our ministry to the homeless at any location within four blocks of the Sunnyside Community House including Sunnyside Park which was located directly across 35thAvenue from the Sunnyside building and next to the Sunnyside (Public) Environmental School.

Our homeless neighbors were accustomed to occasional “sweeps” by the city as it tried to expel the homeless encampments from the neighborhood.  Suddenly it seemed to us that our houseless ministry itself was also the target of an attempted sweep—by our church denominational superiors.  

The District Superintendent alleged that our presence nearby was hindering or would somehow hold back the ability of the Groves Church to establish its new ministry there.

Tim reminded me that there was a Conference Rule that whenever a minister left a local church after serving as its pastor, that minister was prohibited from returning to the church location or remaining in contact with its members.  I actually see the importance of that rule.  But I couldn’t see how it could reasonably apply to us. I feel certain that we would have gotten out of the way and relocated our ministry if we had received assurance that the new Groves congregation was prepared to accept the homeless constituents whom we had pastored previously and would find their own way to minister to them.  That would have been a practice closer to what should happen when a church changes pastors. 

But we were told that The Groves congregation was undergoing an indefinite period of discernment to decide, among other things, whether or not they would even have an active specialized ministry with the poor in their new neighborhood. All the more reason we thought, for continuing the work we had begun, until someone else stepped in to continue that work.

We offered to explore issues such as this with the leaders of the Groves Church, but we were discouraged by Conference leaders from initiating conversations or other relational connections with the new building occupants.

When the warnings from the District Superintendent continued to come I emailed back with this simple question: “Can you show me a place in the United Methodist Book of Discipline where a District Superintendent or any other conference officer is authorized to set boundaries that define where a local UM congregation can or cannot conduct its ministry?” 

I had been thinking about the well-known declaration by the Rev. John Wesley, the founder of Methodism,when he said “The World is my Parish.”   It was John Wesley who, when he was ordered to cease preaching inside a particular Anglican Church building stood on his father’s gravestone in the churchyard and continued preaching to the marginalized persons who, not feeling welcomed inside the church were gathered outside to hear from someone who showed that he cared about them.

When I received no answer to my question I wrote the Superintendent asking if he and Erin Martin might meet with Michael, Pat, John Mayer and me for a friendly conversation about our differences on this matter.  He immediately responded saying that , both he and Erin were willing to meet with the four of us at a time we suggested.  

Several days later I received another communication from Tim informing us that only I and one other person from Metanoia would be allowed at the meeting  and that the Conference would be represented only byTim and one other person, Laurie Day, the Assistant to the Bishop and a person whom none of us from Metanoia had ever met.

Here again we found ourselves at odds.  In institutions there are protocols. We were only proposing to have an honest conversation between friends in order to clear the air and maintain a cooperative relationship with the others with whom we were working. 

But it now seemed that the meeting was being viewed by the institutional leaders as a head to head confrontation between opposing parties.  One side could not therefore have more individuals present than the other side.  And middle managers could not engage in official meetings with opposing parties unless someone was present who could represent the Chief Executive Officer, in this case Bishop Elaine Stanovsky whose office is in the Seattle area.

We planned that John Mayer and I would attend the meeting together representing Metanoia, but John was ill the day of the meeting so Michael accompanied me instead. 

At the meeting we had what we thought was a reasonably friendly conversation aboutour differences.  But toward the end of the meeting Laurie Day turned to me as the pastor of Metanoia to ask the question whose answer she would have to report to the Bishop: “Are you willing to instruct your people not to minister within four blocks of Sunnyside Community House?”  I looked at Michael wondering if our conversation had been for naught, and simply answered “No.”

In a letter from the District Superintendent which I received several weeks later, he articulated quite well the way in which we were at odds with the Annual Conference.  He suggested that our refusal to follow the directions of Conference officers limiting where we could serve the poor put us “out of covenant with the Conference   In his view their attempt to limit the location of our ministry was a compromise between our being allowed to continue ministry to the homeless in the Sunnyside neighborhood  or not be allowed to continue that ministry at all. 

So, clearly we remain at odds.  Because in our view our loyalty is not  to a denominational hierarchy whose CEO most of us have never even met in person, but to the One who called us into discipleship and whose mind we seek every day when we gather every morning to listen to scripture: the One who emptied himself, taking the form of a servant; the One who broke the commonly accepted rules enforced by his religious superiors by healing the sick on the Sabbath, and threshing grain to stem the hunger of his disciples—also on the Sabbath.

It should be noted that Metanoia leaders have not refused to honor any other directives we have received in connection with the Sunnyside eviction.  We vacated the building when we were told to do so. We have not pursued any relationship with The Groves congregation, something we were discouraged from doing. And we have not engaged in public criticism of the Annual Conference decisions regarding Sunnyside, or its attempts to stifle our ongoing ministry with the homeless.  Some who read this memoir will be learning about these realities for the first time.

But we also have not defended the Conference actions when individual United Methodists and other persons outside church circles have quizzed us about the reasons why we were no longer doing our ministry at Sunnyside, except to say that the conference leaders had plans and priorities that conflicted with the call to ministry that we have continued to live out in our congregation.

It remains curious to us, however, that the Annual Conference, while criticizing us for disobeying orders is willing itself to disobey rules and directions, when they find it theologically necessary to do so.

The leaders of the Annual Conference have already shown us by their own example that they are willing to violate specific directives from the United Methodist denomination when those directives are found to be inconsistent with our call as disciples of Jesus.  For the leaders of our Annual Conference have already announced that they will not follow the rules in The Book of Disciplineof the UMC forbidding the ordination of and marriage between homosexual persons, finding their “lifestyle” to be at odds with the will and way of Jesus .  And we are not at odds with the Conference of this issue, by the way, having declared ourselves a Reconciling Congregation 30 years ago, one of the first United Methodist congregations to do so.

For a brief period starting in February of 2020 we were able to resume the Wednesday night Hard Times Supper, courtesy of Trinity United Methodist Church which enthusiastically allowed us to use their kitchen and fellowship hall.  This effort dwindled quickly and ended soon thereafter when the arrival of the Corona virus pandemic led to the closure of almost everything.

So for the time being we continued to assemble, cook and serve up to 60 outdoor hot meals every day to our homeless peeps in the Sunnyside neighborhood, without the approval or permission of the Annual Conference and with social distancing and other precautions because of the pandemic.   

Searching for a New Home

Meanwhile we had continued to search for a permanent place where our homeless ministry could thrive—a place we would own so that eviction would no longer be a threat we would have to face.

Our first exciting prospect had a beautiful, but run down, church building on N. E. 47thAve near Glisan Street. It had been built in the early 20thcentury by a Presbyterian Church but for the past several decades it has been occupied by the Lighthouse Mission Church, an independent congregation.  The small congregation still worships in the building’s fellowship hall, but they expressed a willingness to consider an offer from Metanoia to purchase the property, especially when we offered that they could continue to worship indefinitely in the building at their usual meeting time.

After weeks of dreaming and waiting, our offer was not accepted, however, when their pastor informed us, late in December of 2019, that the congregation had decided not to sell the building after all.

Under John Mayer’s leadership, and while we were waiting for the disappointing news from the Lighthouse Church we decided to enlarge our vision for homeless ministry.  We liked the image of the Lighthouse, and mused that had we been able to acquire the Lighthouse Church building we could keep the sign on the front of the building that read “Lighthouse Mission.”   

That led to a decision to call our future ministry BeaconPDX.  John Mayer created a new website, www.beaconpdx.orgto tell the public about our unfolding hopes, dreams and new realities. The website would include an online blog about houselessness to which John Mayer and others would contribute.

We decided that, for the time being at least, or until it grew into something larger, Beacon PDX would operate as a program of Metanoia Peace Community United Methodist Church, Inc. And we started raising substantial sums of money to fund our future endeavors, as yet undefined, from people who believed in us and in our demonstrated capacity to accomplish whatever we set out to do. 

In January, 2020 we got really excited when we learned that the historic Holman’s Funeral Home property on SE Hawthorne and 27thAve. was available for sale.  It consists of a huge mansion sitting on the middle of 1.6 acres of land.  We learned that if we purchased the property the zoning rules would allow us build additional structures on the land adjacent to the mansion as long as we didn’t obstruct the view of the house from the street, because the structure was listed on a National Register of Historic Places.

We knew that we could not afford the purchase price without the help of partners.  Thus began to emerge a vision of a “village” with several new structures clustered around the central house all occupied by various nonprofit organizations that share a vision for helping people move from living on the street or in shelters, to temporary indoor housing and eventually to permanent low-income rental housing.

As we met together to walk through the building (several times) and talk together about the possibilities afforded by this new location, John Mayer, our chief dreamer, began to summarize our vision on paper: Beacon Villiage would become

A hub of services

A place to call home

A place you are supposed to be

A place of healing and transformation

A mansion of possibility

A space for creativity

A place for vital services

Beacon Village is [envisioned as] a center of healing, hope and community for Portland’s houseless and marginalized.  In partnership with some of the region's most experienced organizations, we [would] offer a full spectrum of essential services, from nutrition and hygiene, to medical care and addiction treatment, temporary shelter and permanent housing assistance and more.  

Every aspect of the Village [would be] developed with a focus on strengthening fundamental social relationships through shared service, mutual aid, and ongoing learning towards personal evolution.

While we were still wondering what partners we might pursue, Pat got a phone call from Homer Williams, a local developer of large scale commercial properties.  He is mostly identified with creating high rise housing, office space and retail facilities in Portland’s Pearl and South Waterfront districts.  But more recently he has taken a personal interest in addressing problems that homeless people face in Portland. 

To Pat he said, “Something tells me I should be working with you.”  He explained, that he had read about Pat in the article that appeared in Street Roots newspaper in late September, and from which I quoted in Chapter Four of this five-year memoir.  The article told the story of our “last supper” at Sunnyside, our long history of working with homeless people and our hopes to create something new.  Homer Williams said he was impressed with what the article revealed about Pat’s persistent and passionate commitment to caring for the homeless poor.

Homer himself had developed an ardent interest in building affordable housing for those who are homeless.  And also, because he was disappointed with the city’s seeming inability to deal adequately with its burgeoning homeless crisis, decided that it was time for the private sector to step up.   He had then created a non-profit enterprise called Harbor of Hope, which was already building and equipping new, low cost temporary shelters for people who were living on the streets of Portland, most notably a 100-bed facility next to the Broadway Bridge which he named “The Navigation Center.”

Subsequently Pat and John Mayer met with Homer and Lisa Marandas, who is helping Homer manage Harbor of Hope’s fleet of trucks equipped with portable shower and laundry facilities to serve Portland’s homeless population.  

Pat and John Mayer told their new friends about the Funeral Home property for sale, and Beacon’s desire to obtain ownership of that property.  Homer and Lisa quickly saw the rich possibilities for what BeaconPDX was proposing, and resolved to partner with BeaconPDX to help make the purchase possible. They negotiated a deal with the property owner that involved an immediate earnest money down payment of $100,000 with a balance of $4.9 million to be paid over the next ten months.  

Pat offered that the earnest money payment of $100,000 could come out of Metanoia Peace Community/Beacon PDX funds, but asked Homer where he thought the rest of the money would come from beyond what Metanoia and BeaconPDX would be able to raise through grants and other contributions. Homer replied that he almost never cuts a successful real estate deal knowing at the time where all the money will come from!

“Neither do I,” Pat replied.

“Sounds like we’re both riverboat gamblers,” said the big time developer who was Pat’s newest best friend.  

Pat and John Mayer, with Homer Williams, started building relationships with potential partners who were also excited about joining this project and fully committing to its success. 

Thus it was that on May 2, 2020 I found myself meeting in the new space with Pat Schwiebert, John Mayer, Sandy Lofy, Casey Jonquil, and Matt Lembo planning for how the rooms in the mansion would be utilized. Our agreement with the other partners was that BeaconPDX would occupy and manage the Holman Mansion which we would call the Lighthouse, while other partners would build and manage the remaining spaces in Beacon Village.

A Dream Aborted

Sadly, as spring gave way to summer, we faced a series of disappointments.  Our best laid plans proved to be insufficient for the immense project we had tackled. We learned that the cost of remodeling the building to meet new building and occupancy requirements would add millions of dollars to our total cost.  Even if we could get enough pledges of money to cover these additional costs we couldn’t begin the work until we have collected the contributions needed to complete Harbor of Hopes’s purchase of the property itself, and were able to take possession of the building.

We also learned that, for reasons we do not fully understand, we would not be afforded access to public funds for housing for homeless families that had been approved by voters in the Portland Metro area.  And we were counting on such public funds as we developed our “business plan.”

When we counted the extra costs in money and time that would be required to realize our dream, and that we were not likely be able to actually to see the first fruits of our dream for at least three years, we decided we didn’t have the physical and emotional resources to continue down this path.

So now as I report this news in this addition to the above narrative that I thought I had finished in June, I have to confess that we don’t know what the future of Beacon PDX will look like.  Pat, John Mayer, Sandy, Cody and others are still offering a vital Beacon ministry to the homeless as we take hot meals to people on the street every day. But we are still a ministry to the homeless that is itself without a home.

Yet we are also still a community of prayer and, by God’s grace we are not a community without hope! But whatever future emerges for Beacon, it will look different from the future we have been dreaming about.  Stay tuned!

CHAPTER SIX 

Supporting Immigrants 

Back in the late 1980s, Metanoia Peace Community had become one of the partners in the Portland Sanctuary Coalition which was part of a nationwide movement to protect persons who were fleeing to the United States in the face of chronic poverty or even brutal oppression in their Central and South American homelands.  Like a smattering of churches across the United States, we had pledged to resist efforts to deport persons who were in the US illegally, by providing them shelter and sanctuary within our church facilities in provocative, but in our view necessary, acts of civil disobedience.

As it turned out in those earlier days we in the Metanoia church were never called on to take refugees into our Peace House community, but we wound up joining with several other Portland area congregations in renting a house where a single extended refugee family could live, using fictitious names, while we helped provide them with food and other necessities as needed and remain on the ready to resist efforts by local authorities to have them deported.  Eventually the threat of deportation waned and they were able to become self-supporting.

The local sanctuary movement eventually dwindled as socially activist church members turned their attention to other issues. But in recent years a New Sanctuary Movement has emerged nationwide and in Portland, partly in response to the creation of a new federal agency Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE).< 

The local expression of this new sanctuary movement became the Interfaith Movement for Immigrant Justice (IMIrJ), a coalition that has come to involve not just churches and synagogues in Portland, but other congregations throughout Oregon.

But this time, for Metanoia Peace Community and the Peace House itself, the meaning of sanctuary became very real and tangible when, in 2014, we learned from one of our sanctuary partners that a local member of the Spanish speaking congregation of St. Andrew Catholic Church was in immediate danger of detention and deportation. 

Antonio had just learned that his brother had been apprehended by Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents and was being processed for deportation.  Antonio had reason to believe that ICE agents would be knocking on his door next and subjecting him to the same fate as his brother if he returned to the apartment in NE Portland that he shared with his wife and their several children

It was time for Metanoia and the Peace House to act. That same afternoon we secretly welcomed Antonio into our household, providing him with a room on the third floor. We began to plan how we would refuse entry to authorities, citing immunity because of a long-standing but little known religious tradition of churches being respected for providing shelter and sanctuary to fugitives. 

For several weeks Antonio never left the Peace House, except to attend required meetings and appointments and Sunday worship at St Andrew, and then only when one of us was accompanying him, ready if necessary to challenge and resist his arrest.  But we encouraged his wife and several children to visit him at the Peace House and they all occasionally joined us for supper.

Antonio was on probation following an earlier arrest for dealing illegal drugs.  If local police and the court system even knew that he was not in the US legally they had cho sen to ignore the fact.  In general local authorities do not feel compelled to cooperate in matters of federal immigration enforcement.

But Antonio still had to show up regularly for appointments with his probation officer.  And the conditions of his probation included meeting regularly with a 12 step group.  In every case when one of us drove him to one of these appointments we waited just outside the door, wondering if we would suddenly confront an ICE officer prepared to take Antonio into custody when the meeting was over.

We were never certain that ICE agents even knew that he was living with us; at least they never came knocking on the Peace House front door.

Although we were able to keep Antonio safe for more than a month, either at home or during necessary forays away from the house, ICE eventually prevailed. Agents intercepted Antonio when he appeared for an appointment at the office of his pro bonoattorney.  This time none of our Peace House folks was with him, because we had delegated that duty to a good friend in the larger community of sanctuary supporters who, however, was perhaps less prepared to resist a sudden move by authorities.

The result was that Antonio was immediately transported to the ICE detention facility in Tacoma, Washington, where he remained for several months.  We did what we could to advocate for his release, making the 250-mile round trip several times to visit with him and attend hearings to consider motions for his release.  Happily we were able to take his children with us to see their father during these visits.  His wife did not accompany the children for these visits, however, because, while the children were US citizens, having all been born in the US, Mrs. Granados was herself in potential danger of detention and/or deportation by ICE.

After Antonio was eventually deported Metanoia continued to participate in IMIrJ actions including vigils and protest rallies at the Portland headquarters of the Federal Immigration and Customs enforcement agency.

On several occasions Michael, Pat, Erin and/or me were arrested by Federal Police, and later released, after joining in a series of actions of civil disobedience in which we formed a human blockade across the vehicle entrance to the ICE facility in Portland.

 On another occasion several hundred church folks conducted an unpermitted public service of worship on the public street in front of the ICE headquarters.  This time the police chose not to interfere with this provocative action, but actually cooperated by setting up a detour and directing vehicle traffic around the worshippers.

Other protests included rallies at Portland area courthouses calling for an end to an ICE practice in which ICE officers would show up at the courthouses looking to nab persons, mostly Latino, who were suspected of living in the Portland area without required immigration documentation.

At times we also joined ecumenical Sunday afternoon worship services outside the fence of the Federal Prison at Sheridan, Oregon about 45 miles southeast of Portland where men who were suspected of entering the US illegally were being “detained” indefinitely after having been separated from their families.

In the fall of 2018 I personally joined several dozen other persons in a public walk from the Sheridan prison to another prison in The Dalles, Oregon where ICE detainees were also being housed.  We relied on buses for the stretches between cities because our main interest was to encounter people in cities and towns along the way promoting the idea of welcoming strangers who were fleeing poverty and other forms of abuse, instead of condemning them as criminals, locking them up and separating them from their families.

Knowing that at any time we may be called on to provide sanctuary to another person or family within the Peace House precincts, we posted a permanent sign on the front door which reads:

The 18thAve Peace House

Is the home of

Metanoia Peace Community United Methodist Church

A SANCTUARY CHURCH

 No weapons of any kind and

no use of force of any kind

are permitted on this church property.

As I have shared earlier we have welcomed Mpagi Kirumira as a full member of the Peace House family.  Mpagi is a Ugandan who entered this country legally more than four years ago and then applied for political asylum in the United States. 

His application, which was expected to be either approved or rejected within two years, is still on hold after four years, another casualty of the Trump Administration.

Mpagi does have a legal work permit, fortunately, and has able been able to juggle several part time jobs, while also being enrolled in Portland Community College.  He has been able therefore to contribute to the communal funds of the Peace Household and also to send money to help support his wife and two children in Uganda.  His hope, now on hold, is that they will eventually be able to join him in the United States.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Rethinking Re-animation

By January, 2020 at the same time we were beginning to pursue the possibility of expanding BeaconPDX by purchasing the Holman Funeral Home Property we were also beginning to craft a different vision for Metanoia Peace Community UMC itself.

A year earlier, before the disappointments I have described in chapter four and five we had imagined re-instituting a weekly Sunday worship service.  It would not be held at the Peace House but at Sunnyside, in the familiar fellowship hall where homeless folks were accustomed to gathering already.  

There they would mingle in worship with Sunnyside neighbors and others attracted by the palpable experience of authentic community that Metanoia has always been known for, plus lively singing and relevant, challenging sermons by Michael Ellick and others.

But then we learned that neither this nor any other Metanoia activity could be carried out at the Sunnyside location since we were no longer welcome there.

But, as the poet James Russel Lowell once wrote, “New occasions teach new duties.” Michael and others, still recovering from Metanoia’s “season of grief,” began to re-envision a Metanoia church that would function in a way that was clearly different from any other church we knew about. Under Michael’s leadership, we crafted and adopted by common consent the following document that would interpret what we felt called to do and most able to do given our changing circumstances: 

Metanoia’s Working Model of Ministry: Winter 2020

Overview – 

Metanoia Peace Community was founded as a Christian Church focused on the contemplative acts of community, hospitality, and peacemaking.  In this ecclesia, the “outward journey” of committed service was balanced by an “inward journey” of contemplative prayer, reflection, and the keeping of the sacraments. 

But recognizing that many who came to walk alongside us didn’t necessarily identify as Christian, but nevertheless shared our call to explore the deep mysteries through committed acts of service, our membership has opened up to include people of different faith traditions, or of no formal faith tradition at all.  All that is required is a willingness to go into the margins - out in the world and inside ourselves – and to be transformed by this encounter.  We make the road by walking together.

Today we continue to discern what it means to be a true Peace Community by continually going to the “dark places of wisdom,” and learning how to make community there.  We continue to explore the deep mysteries through an outward journey and an inward journey, and this shared life of practice is extended not just to Metanoia members and sojourners, but to any and all individuals, groups, and faith communities seeking spiritual nourishment for public service.  

Outward Journey – 

Our committed service ministries are curated and “bottom lined” by members and sojourners, but are often carried out in partnership with other faith communities, groups, and organizations.  Present ministries include:

Community Organizing–In partnership with a variety of local, state-wide and national organizing groups, Metanoia members and sojourners regularly participate in community building and strategic public action for the common good.  

End of Life- Hospice services are offered to members, sojourners, and friends of the community on a case by case basis as physical space and resources are available at Peace House (thepeacehouse.org).

Grief -  A variety of grief groups (including but not limited to Stage 4 Cancer, Infant Loss, and Parents of Murdered Children) are offered at Peace House, in conjunction with Brief Encounters and Grief Watch.

Hosting & Hospitality–Metanoia regularly provides hospitality services for individuals and groups by providing free physical space and staffing/hosting duties for meetings, fundraisers, and gatherings of all kinds.  Overnight accommodations are also available on a first come first serve basis. Hospitality is offered to partners in our various ministries: for a list of groups and organizations that we regularly host, see our list of partners below.

Houseless Services  –Growing out of our long-running Hard Times Supper, our feeding programs and support services for the houseless represent the kenotic foundation of all our work and practice.  Our houseless ministry isn’t considered charity, but an extension of community across the barriers of class.  This work is done in partnership with BeaconPDX and Portland Street Medicine.

Sanctuary Church–in partnership with the Interfaith Movement for Immigrant Justice (IMIrJ), Metanoia Peace Community is a “sanctuary” church, committed to providing a safe space to live (as needed) for immigrants and/or refugees facing persecution by our broken and unjust immigration laws.

Inward Journey – 

Our journey outward directly mirrors our journey inward.  Thus direct service ministries are complimented by an ongoing commitment to study, reflection, and prayer.  Opportunities include:

Co-counseling–pastoral counseling, conversation, and attentive listening is regularly provided by members with varying levels of training and experience (Pastoral Counselors, Social Workers, and Mindful Friends).

Daily Prayer–Daily worship at 7a (M-F) and 7:30a (Sa) includes prayer, song, and the practice of lectio divina.  Communion is offered as part of this service every Thursday morning.

Deep Dives– Smallrelational groups allow each participant to have a deeper sense of connection and community with which to regularly process their spiritual journey.  Each deep dive group creates their own meeting schedule, but is encouraged to gather no less than once a week.

Monthly Member Meeting– Each month all our members and sojourners gather for in-depth study, spiritual practice, and community discernment.

Peace Train–This monthly gathering welcomes different community leaders from Oregon and around the country to reflect on the nature of peace in our times.  Offered in partnership with Ecumenical Ministries of Oregon and various other community allies, this ongoing conversation serves to inform and inspire our journey inward and our journey outward.

Silent Prayer & Meditation– Every Thursday evening this weekly gathering includes silent mindfulness practice from 6:30p – 7:30p, and compassionate sharing (check-ins) from 7:30p – 8:30p.  In this gathering we aim to move beyond the spirit of the times to bear witness to the spirit of the depths.

Seasonal Study–Throughout the year various book groups and study groups are convened to focus on various parts of our journey.

Way of the Rose–This weekly gathering on every Monday (6:30p – 7:30p) is dedicated to the forgotten earth wisdom of the rosary… and to the Divine Feminine, by any name you like to call Her.

Organizational Structure  

Though a designated pastor and servant-leader team of 4-6 members takes responsibility for making sure that administration, structure, and key commitments are maintained, leadership and execution of all ministries are shared by Metanoia members.  Decisions are made by our Community Council (consisting of all members), which makes official decisions regarding church policy through a majority (or in some cases two-thirds) vote.  However, since we strive to make all decisions by common consent, all members are encouraged to participate in “clearness meetings” at our monthly member meetings, or whenever a gathering of members can be called.

Participants:

Members–We think of all our members as organs of a larger body.  We therefore recognize as members only those persons who are actively functioning as organic, and indispensable parts of the whole body/community called Metanoia.  Because of this subtle distinction from Membership as described in the Book of Discipline, we keep two membership lists:

The First Member List- includes all those who meet the following expectations: 

1.     Active involvement in at least one specific Ministry of Metanoia.

2.     Participation in Daily Morning Prayer, Silent Prayer and Meditation, or Way of the Rose at the Peace House (daily for residents; at least once a week for non-residents)

3.     Monthly attendance of our Monthly Member Meeting gathering of the whole community except when prevented by illness or travel.

4.     A commitment to a balanced life that includes a journey inward (prayer and meditation) and a journey outward (ministry to others).

5.     A commitment to regard all personal wealth and income as a resource to be shared beginning with a tithe (10% of income).

6.     Participation in a deep dive accountability group that includes other members.

The Second Member List– Because Metanoia Peace Community is a congregation of the United Methodist Church, a second list includes members on the first list who also meet the requirements and prerequisites for membership in congregations of the United Methodist Church, and who are willing also to be included in the number of members reported each year to the Annual Conference.

Sojourners–Anyone and everyone who participates in any or all of the various activities of Metanoia but who is not a member is regarded as a “Sojourner.”  We make no distinction between Sojourners and Members when it comes to full participation in any activity, gathering, or ministry of the community as a whole.  Although Sojourners may also participate in deliberations about the life and health of the community, it will be the members whose common consent based on spiritual discernment, will determine the outcome of any issue under consideration.

Residents of Peace House– People living at the 18thAvenue Peace House are expected to help maintain the house and grounds, and to help curate and sustain the Metanoia ministries taking place at the house.  Though residents of the Peace House might be either Members or Sojourners in the Metanoia Peace Community, for functional purposes we distinguish between permanent residents and guests.  Permanent residents are responsible for making practical decisions about household functions consistent with the life and needs of Metanoia, and deciding how money comes and goes out of the Koinonia Fund (the shared economic resources of house members).  House decisions are made through common consent at weekly house meetings (Sunday evenings) or whenever a gathering of permanent residents can be called.  Guests may also participate in deliberations about the life and health of Peace House, but it will be the permanent residents whose common consent will determine the outcome of any emerging household issue or proposed action under consideration. 

We recognized that we would not aspire to function so much as an isolated or independent institution but as a movement in partnership with other movement groups including churches and non-religious service and social change organizations. 

I happily concur with the changes that are taking place in Metanoia, even as they are now complicated (as with most churches) by the changes with the current world-wide pandemic that we all face.

But I am especially happy that that the Metanoia Church that will serve a new generation is no longer dependent upon Pat and me.  We will continue to serve Metanoia for as long as we live, but others who are a part of the new generation are already taking over responsibility for Metanoia’s future so that when the time comes we can fade away knowing that Metanoia will continue to be well served.

Remaining at Odds—Continued 

But still it seems we are still at odds with our Annual Conference leaders, though I believe that we may be on the verge of finding some common ground. 

More than a year after we asked that Michael be appointed as Metanoia’s pastor, Michael received a letter from the District Superintendent Tim Overton-Harris indicating that neither Michael nor anyone else would be appointed to replace me immediately and that I would continue to serve as the appointed pastor of Metanoia until some concerns about Metanoia’s life and ministry and its status as a United Methodist congregation could be resolved to the satisfaction of the Conference officers including Superintendent Tim and Bishop Elaine Stenovsky.

Since Metanoia’s official status as a congregation and its different ways of doing things had never been challenged before in our 34-year-old history we were initially incensed by the Superintendent’s letter.

After drafting, but not sending, a scorching letter of protest to the Superintendent I decided to take a different approach.  I asked for, and Tim agreed to, a one-to one meeting between the two of us where we would not dispute about anything but simply share our personal stories, including accounts of our respective calls to ministry and church leadership.  The meeting was online of course, because face to face meetings were and are still limited in view of the Covid 19 pandemic.

I think we both came away from our virtual one-to-one meeting with a greater sense of mutual acceptance and trust, and a willingness to set up a meeting involving Tim and Metanoia leaders which could reduce contention, and aim for greater acceptance and appreciation of our differences, which were not going to go away.

The next online meeting between Tim and Metanoia leaders took place on September 17, 2020 while we were all kept tightly in our respective homes because of pervasive outdoor pollution caused by smoke from wildfires in the Willamette Valley and elsewhere in Oregon, California and Washington. 

The meeting was cordial but tense at points.  Tim insisted that he and Bishop Stanovsky were not proposing that we in Metanoia were doing anything wrong that needed to be corrected but only that they did not understand what we were doing or even who we are, since we don’t function like most churches do.

And they wanted us to cnsider whether or not we actually fit the definition of a United Methodist local church

From our point of view this was more their problem than ours. The home office staff of a hierarchical institution was trying to figure out how to manage one of its unusual local franchises—this even though we felt we were managing just fine and did not need to be directed by any institution since we were ultimtely answerable to the Spirit of God moving among us. Surely, we thought, the Conference staff had more important things to worry about than Metanoia Peace Community.

 Whether or not our meeting was able to provide the reassurance needed by the Annual Conference leaders remains to be seen.

Meanwhile I was encouraged by words from Bishop Stanovsky herself—words spoken to a zoom gathering of members of the Oregon-Idaho Annual Conference—pastors and lay persons from every local church in the Conference  She said

“What would Jesus do with us if we gathered in small gatherings, learned to love each other, and asked him what he wants for us?  What if the “connection” became personal instead of institutional?  What if it was about loving relationships with one another, about how a local church relates to its community . . .”

The next day I wrote to the Bishop to thank her for her insight and assure her that “personal instead of institutional”  relationship was something for which our Metanoia church has striven since it was first chartered as a UM congregation more than three decades ago.

I told the Bishop that she could count on us to support her efforts to foster a “big tent” church where, in her words, “people can journey with each other, in the presence of Jesus, toward a future where everyone has a place and the parts all fit together.”

POSTSCRIPT

Living with COVID19

So now we wait.  But we do not wait as those who have no hope.

Because of the uncertainties of the Coronavirus, we in the Peace House wait in our splendid domicile which is wonderfully surrounded with sheltered outdoor spaces, so we are more fortunate than those who are quarantined in cramped apartments  or crowded overnight shelters that have been modified to accommodate the requirements of social distancing.

The homeless wait outdoors day and night, without even access to a table at Burger King where, before the pandemic, they could pause for a while, protected from the rain while nursing a hot cup of coffee and a Whopper Jr.

But others, who were not homeless before the pandemic, wait also. They wait knowing that they too are facing homelessness and the other calamitous consequences that will fall mostly heavily on those who are already marginalized by racial prejudice, poverty, debt, disability, illness, advanced age and other disadvantages. 

Indeed the COVID19 pandemic has served to fully reveal the pandemic of injustice that has already so thoroughly infected our political, social, and even religious institutions.  

The United States of America has notestablished justice, promoted the general Welfare, nor secured the blessings of Liberty for all of its citizens and their posterity. And it has backed away from its tradition of welcoming from other countries the “tired, the poor and the huddled masses yearning to breathe free . . .”   

Instead this nation has become another in a series of failed world empires built to favor the rich while despoiling the poor, and this even before the coronavirus crisis caught us by surprise.

And so we wait.  And hope. And pray. And imagine!

For those of us who aspire to live by faith in the God of creation, waiting is actually a good thing—and a necessary thing.

“They who wait upon YHWH shall renew their strength,

     they shall mount up with wings like eagles,

     they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31)

 Most Americans, it seems are waiting for a return to something we call “normal.”   But even then, especially in the face of an expanding “Black Lives Matter” movement, we begin to wonder if the old normal we had gotten used to is a normal that will no longer exist because of the unknown changes that are surely to come. While we wait some of us are pretty certain that the old normal is something we definitely have no desire to return to.

But most Americans do not want to wait for anything.  We have been conditioned by advertising media to want it all now, fast food, express mail, same-day home delivery.  And we want to see the dangers of the corona virus resolved as soon as possible so we can get back to work, send our kids back to school, and resume shopping for things we probably don’t actually need.

Our political leaders and the people of financial means who contribute heavily to support their re-elections are frantic to get the current capitalist economy going again because the economic system as it is currently set up is heavily weighted in their favor and they fear they might forever lose that advantage.  

The rich can’t afford to wait because in order to increase their wealth they have become dependent upon the rest of us for a steady supply of low wage labor, and uninhibited conspicuous consumption.  With good reason they fear what could happen if the economic downturn lasts so long that the general public gets used to the idea of getting along with less, saving rather than spending, and better yet sharing more freely with one another the things what we have already have.

I think the wealthy are also worried that working people who discover how quickly and easily their jobs can disappear, never to return, may be ready to wonder why we couldn’t consider a complete overhaul of our economic system. Maybe a guaranteed annual income for every citizen, unrelated to employment is not such a bad idea after all.

My hope is that we, along with most of our fellow Americans, will not use the extra time we have on hand to wait for the old normal to return, but rather to work to imagine a new normal which is closer to, and even better than, what the founders of the United States of America intended.

And some of us, taking Jesus seriously, will wait for an even greater normal than whatever any current political system can envision and create! In the words of the Apostle Peter:

“In accordance with [God’s] promise we wait for new heavens and a new earth, where righteousness is at home.”  (1 Peter 3:13)

And while we wait we pray as Jesus taught us, “

[God,] Your Kin’dom come, your will [not ours] be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”

And waiting , for us, means that we will not settle for anything less that the Kin’dom of God and the prevailing life that it affords.

TO BE CONTINUED . . .  (because God is not finished with us yet).